Unique Facts

1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the  Towers of Hanoi  in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project manage...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norri...

    * Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.           * If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.           * If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.           * Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."           * Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.           * MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.           * Behind every successful man, ther...

    *  Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.           * Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.           * Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.           * Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.           * When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.           * Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.         * A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pan...

    *  When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.           * Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.           * Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.           * There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.           * When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.           * Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.           * A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of...

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. # A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. # Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. # Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. # If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. # Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." # Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face. # The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris p...